Tag: Family

Grandparenting from Afar

Posted on by Emily Belvery

(While this article is written from the perspective of a missionary parent and focuses on the experiences of grandparents living in the US while their children and grandchildren are overseas, many of the insights, comforts, and suggestions are equally applicable to grandparents traveling overseas to serve and leaving children and grandchildren behind in the US.)

Many of my close friends became grandparents before my husband and I did. They would talk about how unbelievably wonderful it was, and the unconditional love they instantly felt toward their grandbabies.

I loved being a mom. I can honestly say it has been one of the greatest joys of my life. So, I figured being a grandma would also be great. And when we found out our oldest daughter was expecting, my husband and I were thrilled. But wow – I did not really understand how fierce and amazing the love would be until I first held that precious baby girl. My girl now was a mom, and this tiny human was not my responsibility to raise but my great joy and privilege to love. And love her we have and are still doing. As grandparents we have learned a few things in life, and we have time to contemplate and invest in loving our grandchildren with our presence. We can sit and play or read for hours, take long walks that involve picking up every rock or dandelion just because they are there and interesting. When I come to visit or talk over FaceTime and their little faces light up with a big smile and an “I wanna see Nana,” my heart melts – these tiny humans have stolen my heart, and if I don’t get to see them for a few months it seems way too long.


As a parent I was so busy with the dailyness of caring for my children that I didn’t always have the time or brain space to stop and contemplate the moments that were so quickly happening in front of me. Being a grandparent lets you enjoy those moments all over again but at a slower pace. You realize as a grandparent that just being with your grandchildren, hearing their hearts, and making new discoveries, is the most precious gift you can give them.

How do you handle this great joy of grandparenting if your adult children feel called to overseas missions and those grandchildren go to live in a country far away? (Or perhaps you have been called to serve overseas in your retirement and must leave grandchildren behind for months at a time to live and serve in another place.) Yes, we live in an age of many and various ways to communicate and see each other, but we all know that physical presence is the best. The reality of them being in another country means there are no quick weekend trips either to visit them or for them to stay with you. Every visit in person takes lots of planning, money, and documents.


Some of you are experiencing this, and you know better than I do what it is like. Some of us may experience this in the future, and the thought may give us feelings of panic and unbelievable sadness. In “What Missionary Grandparents Give Up – and Gain,” Mack Stiles has some ideas for both the parents heading overseas and the grandparents saying goodbye. Stiles encourages the adult children heading overseas with their children to acknowledge the sacrifice that their own parents are making and to own that this decision is one they chose and not one their own children or the grandparents chose. In owning this decision, those called to the mission field can empathize with the sacrifice of the grandparents and ask for their support and prayers. Stiles also reminds the missionaries to remember that when God calls them, He also provides for the grandparents and will equip them to grow in their faith. Lastly, Stiles encourages mission partners to prioritize time with grandparents when home for furlough. This honors parents (Exodus 20:12) and helps solidify close connections.


For the grandparents of missionary children, Stiles encourages them to support their children’s call to serve. As hard as it may be to do, if you oppose what God is calling them to, it will only add pain and possible resentment to an already difficult decision. Stiles also encourages grandparents to take a posture of learning. Ask questions about the country your children and grandchildren are going to. Learn about the ministry there. The more you know and can pray specifically about, the more you will feel the excitement of what God is doing around the world. If possible, go and visit where they are serving and see firsthand what God has called them to do. When communicating with your grandchildren over FaceTime or Zoom, talk about how God is teaching you to trust Him even though you miss them a lot.

If the Lord calls you to be grandparents whose children and grandchildren live in a far away land, know that He sees and hears your heart, your fears, and your pain. He will give you what you need for the sacrifice you are experiencing. You may be surprised at the richness of God’s grace and blessings and the way your world is enlarged instead of diminished.

I admit that if I am called to be this grandparent who someday needs to say goodbye to my children and grandchildren as they go to live in another country, I will struggle a lot. Just thinking about the possibility fills my heart with dread. Yet I know that I felt that same way when two of my children decided they were being called to missions overseas right after they finished college. It turned out to be a growing experience for us all with so many wonderful surprises in how God worked in each of our hearts to trust him more deeply and to be amazed at His Mighty power to save.


Mack Stiles. “What Missionary Grandparents Give Up – and Gain.” The Gospel
Coalition. [Online]. April 4, 2024.
https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/missionary-grandparents-give/

Almost-Home for Christmas

Posted on by Emily Belvery

(From a mission partner in Central Asia)

“On Christmas Eve, I went with other teachers to sing some carols and bring gifts to a couple friends. One thing I didn’t know before moving here was that the people we serve are often the more well-off people in the neighborhood. We stood, lighting our candles before entering each huge front gate, praying in the silence before the first notes of the songs that the Lord would enter these homes with us, and fill them with his light and peace and joy — so much more than all the money in the world could buy.

It doesn’t work, culturally, to stand out in the cold on people’s doorsteps for too long. We were quickly invited inside at every house we visited while caroling. It was so wonderful to be able to have tea with my language teacher and to get to visit her at her house for the first time.

At night, after returning home, I sat in front of my tiny Christmas tree and sang alone in the candlelight — and while the most comfortable, homey thing in the world, it also made me ache as I thought of my family  gathered together around their own tree. There are so many homes that I have called mine. It becomes increasingly difficult to know that I can only be in one of them at a time, and yet, I know that none of these “almost-homes” are where I’m supposed to belong forever. The way the snow here takes my breath away, the laughter of the children on the street, the sunset over fields, the wind across the plains, the longing in my heart at all of it — they’re just glimpses of the home that is waiting: the home I have because of Jesus.

It is so amazing to remember how God makes his home here; not only in the stable where he was born, but in the midst of our messy lives and last-minute cleaning before the guests arrive. He makes his home in the houses of the people here, to whom his light shines, even in the midst of the darkest night. He dwells with us, and home is where he is.“

Praying for Kids on the Mission Field

Posted on by Emily Belvery

“For many years now I have been involved in a ministry called “Moms in Prayer.” Women of all ages gather in their homes or churches to pray for their children, grandchildren and other people’s children. It is often based around the age of the child or the school the child attends. This ministry is worldwide and crosses all denominations. One of the most powerful experiences I have encountered in this ministry is praying Scripture for my child. We often have lots of ideas of what we want to pray for our children or other family members, but what we want is not always what God knows is best.

We can be sure when we pray Scripture that it is God’s will for our loved one. Isaiah 55:11 says, “so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.”

So how can we know what to pray for our loved one on the mission field? It is always good to pray for the specific requests that your missionary asks and know that God will answer according to His plan. But here are a few additional ideas that are listed in Scripture for every believer. Feel free to insert your loved ones’ name into the verse, personalizing it for them.

  1. Pray for protection and safety from the enemy:
    • There are many Scripture passages talking about God’s protection for us from Satan and his evil plans.
      • Psalm 91 – pray the whole Psalm inserting your loved one’s name.
      • Isaiah 41:10 – “So do not fear, for I am with ______ ; do not be dismayed, for I am ______’s
        God. I will strengthen _____ and help ______; I will uphold ______ with my righteous
        right hand.”
      • Psalm 20:1 – “May the Lord answer ____ when he/she is in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect _____.”
  2. Pray for open doors and the power of the Holy Spirit to work faith in people’s hearts:
    • Scripture tells us faith is a gift from God, so pray that the Holy Spirit would work this gift of faith in the lives of others and that your loved one has open doors to share the Gospel.
      • Colossians 4:2-3a – “Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for _____ that God may open a door for _____’s message, so that _____ may proclaim the mystery of Christ.”
      • 1 Peter 3:15 Help _____ in their heart to “revere Christ as Lord. May _____ always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks the reason for the hope that he/she has. But do this with gentleness and respect.”
      • Romans 1:16 Help _____ to “not be ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.”
      • Psalm 96:3 Pray that ______ would “Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous works among all the peoples!”
  3. Pray for boldness to proclaim Christ:
    • 2 Timothy 1:7 Pray that God would give _____ “a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”
    • Hebrews 4:16 Pray that _____ would “then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that _____ may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
    • Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
  4. Pray for rest/refreshment/reliance on Christ:
    • Pray that your loved one is daily reminded that it is not his or her work that brings results, but that it is important for missionaries, and all of us, to learn complete dependance on Christ and to practice Sabbath rest.
      • Psalm 23:2-3: He makes _____ lie down in green pastures. He leads _____ beside still waters. He restores _____’s soul. He leads _____ in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
      • Matthew 11:28-30: Pray that _____ would “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
      • Philippians 4:6-7 Pray that _____ would “not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
      • Philippians 4:19 “And my God shall supply all ______’s need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.”

As you pray for your missionary loved one, remember who Christ is! He is Creator; Sustainer; All Knowing; All Powerful; Good; Love; Light; Judge; Faithful and True; Holy; the Great I AM; Our Righteousness; The Lord; Our Mediator; Son of Man; King of Kings; Wisdom; Majestic and Mighty; Everlasting and so much more. God is in a category of His own – incomparable with anyone or anything else. So, your prayers are being heard and will be perfectly answered according to our great God’s will. What joy and what assurance there is in that!”

Choosing Thankfulness

Posted on by Emily Belvery

Dear Missionary Families,

At this time of year when we join with others in celebration of Thanksgiving, our attention is turned to thinking about what we are thankful for. All of us can probably rattle off a list of people and circumstances in our lives that we give thanks for, but do we live as thankful people in a way that permeates those hard and difficult days when the burdens and crises of life come crashing in?

You may be thankful that your loved one has felt called to mission work and sharing the Gospel, but as the years go on and you get tired of the goodbyes, tired of your loved one missing out on so many family celebrations, and tired of the never ending question from others – “how long is ______ going to be overseas?”– the felt thankfulness may start to wane. Does it really matter? Do we need to be thankful all the time? Aren’t we allowed to feel sad and to miss those we love?

The Lord knows we are human and will experience sadness, fear, and every other human emotion. And, yes, it is okay to miss our loved ones. But God wants us to have a deep and abiding thankfulness that He knows will permeate those times of doubt.

Oftentimes, fear is the enemy of thankfulness. Sources vary, but the words “thankful” or “thanksgiving,” variations of the word “gratitude,” appear between 150 and 170 times in the Bible. But being thankful is not mentioned in the Bible as much as “fear” which appears 365 times. I think God knows we face fear daily, so 365 times to mention it seems appropriate.

Philippians 4:6 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” Here God gives us an antidote to fear – prayer in which we ask God with thanksgiving for what we need.

Remember that list of things and people you are thankful for? Those often come easily because we already have them or have experienced them. But fear is usually centered on the future and the unknown. How can we be thankful for what we do not yet know or have not yet seen?

In an article put out by Mayo Clinic, having a “happy brain” requires “gratitude” (“A Very Happy Brain,” MayoClinic.org). Why is that? Well, researchers at Mayo say that our brains “feel the pain of others like it is our own,” thus firing the same neurons when we are in despair and when someone is hurting that we care about. Also, for our brains, “imaginary is real.” Thus, our brains react the same way to things we may fear as to the bad things that actually happen. Finally, “the brain can’t tell physical pain from emotional hurts.” So, our sad or fearful emotions affect our brains like any physical injury. God, of course, already knew all of this about our brains because He made them. So, God knows that when we bring all our emotional pain, fear, and despair to Him with thanksgiving that the next verse in Philippians 4 will be a reality: “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:7).

This year, my son started his eighth year on the mission field. We thoroughly enjoyed his recent furlough and the family time we experienced. But when the time came to say “goodbye” again, I struggled more than I have in years. I know he is right where God wants him to be, and I am very thankful for that. But I am tired of the goodbyes and there is a lot about the future that is unknown and unsettling to this mama heart. I cried a lot the day he left and felt myself settling into a non-thankful place. But God reminded me I can trust Him and by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, the peace of God would guard my heart and mind even for all I do not know or understand. The peace did not come immediately, but our Lord who is patient and kind helped me, and is still helping me, to daily bring my sadness, my fears, and all the unknowns to Him in prayer and supplication with thanksgiving.

So, yes, we can be thankful for what we do not yet know and have not yet seen because our God is the antidote to fear and the reason for Thanksgiving.

4 Benefits of Having a Family Member on the Mission Field

Posted on by Emily Belvery

(Written by Ruth Barz, Mental Health Therapist and Missionary Mom. Photo: Mission Partner Sarah in Taiwan with her parents.)

You probably still remember where you were when your loved one told you they were thinking seriously about going overseas to serve as a missionary with Mission of Christ Network.

Maybe this had been a conversation you had with them numerous times and you were excited that they made this decision to join Jesus on His mission. Perhaps it was the first time you heard about this person’s decision to move far away from you. Or it even may have been a conversation you had before, but your heart sank as your loved one told you of their decision.

As a parent of three children, two of whom went overseas to serve with MCN, I can relate to all the above scenarios. There are so many questions and a lot of different emotions all at once. Your mind may be swirling with thoughts such as “this is not what I was expecting in this person’s future”; or “will he or she be safe there?”; “I need them to stay here and help me take care of things” ; “I feel like I am losing them”; “we have not been close for awhile and now they will be SO far away and I worry about being emotionally close again.” If it means your grandchildren will be moving to another country, your heart may be breaking with the realization that you will not be able to be physically around them very much as they grow. If it is your parents, or an aunt or uncle moving overseas, you may be sad they will be missing out on large parts of your life or those of your children.

As real and confusing as the above thoughts and feelings are, here are four reasons why this experience will help you grow and will expand your world.

  1. First and most important is that any big change, and maybe especially those changes we are not sure about, are the ones that drive us to our knees in prayer and cause us to become more dependent on our Heavenly Father. In Jeremiah 29:11 we read, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” This is true for us, and it is true for our loved one going to another country. Then in Psalm 62:5-8 we read, “Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from Him. Truly He is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress; I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; He is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.” 
    • Here God is inviting us to “pour out our hearts to Him.” So, you can tell God about all your fears, concerns, joys, and hopes, and He will hear. In addition, He promises that we can trust Him even when we don’t understand the ending.  Depending on God will grow your faith, be an encouragement to your loved one going overseas, and expand your prayer life. As I prayed for my children overseas and for the specific prayer requests they gave me, I got to rejoice with my children when we saw God’s answer to prayer.
  2. Your vision of the world and the church will be expanded. You will learn about how God is moving around the world and what the church looks like in other countries, and you will realize the bigger plans of God’s salvation. This may also give you an opportunity to travel to other parts of the world and hear how God is a work. What joy to know you will meet people in heaven who are there because your loved one was part of God’s plan to work faith in the hearts of others! When my husband and I worshiped with Christians in Asia over Christmas, it gave us a glimpse of what it will be like to worship in eternity with brothers and sisters from around the world.
  3. You may work harder at staying connected with your loved one(s). As you work at communicating with your overseas family member, you may find yourself being more intentional in asking them about their life, in telling them about yours, and in expressing your love and concern. You may find that sharing prayer requests with one another becomes more intentional. Sometimes, when family members are far away, we realize that we cannot take those relationships for granted, and you may find yourself working harder to stay connected than you would if they were in the same town.
  4. You will become more aware of God’s mission which calls you to mission work right where you are.  You may find yourself realizing that God’s desire that “all be saved” (1 Timothy 2:4) means each of us is to live our lives being willing to “give an answer for the reason of the hope we have in Christ” (1 Peter 3:15).

This is not an exhaustive list of how you may grow or have your world expanded when a loved one answers God’s call to mission work, but it is a good start.

I invite you to lean on the Lord while you welcome the changes He is bringing because your child, parent, aunt, uncle, friend, sibling has decided to serve as a missionary.

Pieces of My Heart in Many Places

Posted on by Emily Belvery

(While this piece was written back in 2016 when I was on the mission field in Taiwan, we pray it helps you understand missionaries traveling “home” this summer who may now struggle to feel at home in any one place. – Emily (Barz) Belvery)

“There are pieces of my heart in many places.

There are pieces that drift lazily across a backyard patio on the scent of coffee and freshly-mown grass and pieces that roll over Iowa hills at twilight on the wings of a tailwind.

There are pieces on the plains of Nebraska, in old dorms with peculiar, age-old scents, in classrooms and offices stacked with books and papers and even overheads, over a sloping floor bathed in colored light and echoing with an acapella doxology – in the middle of nowhere and the middle of everywhere.

Sometimes your heart fixes on the strangest places.

There are pieces in St. Louis – that second home for Sewardites, Nebraska round two.

Pieces wrapped up in popcorn and pinochle and Let Us Exalt His Name – and then dispersed across the country, too many miles apart for this small world where everyone is only six degrees from a Barz.

Pieces fragilely held together by internet across a million time zones and seven-way Google hangouts – pieces sewn up in letters and penned in pictures and memories and oh so many stories.

But there are also pieces of my heart that hover over rice fields and quiver in the haze of humidity and pollution, gazing at distant mountains.

There are pieces that smile in Mandarin and grasp chopsticks in an accepted offer of shared meals and lives and cups of tea.

There are pieces that laugh at the absurdity of language and the extravagant love of the Father and pieces that cry at the futility of idols and the fear of what we can’t understand.

There are pieces of my heart in many places.

“My heart lives in so many places. With so many people. But God whispers to me that I really have only one home, and that is with Him. I will never be content on this earth. I will always be a nomad. It was meant to be that way. My heart was created with a desire for a home, a nest, a sanctuary, and that can be found only with Him in Heaven. And I will continue bouncing from one home to another, loving with everything I have in whatever location I currently reside, excitedly awaiting the day when I am called heavenward and He says to me, ‘Welcome home.’”

– Kisses From Katie by Katie Davis

David prayed, “Unite my heart to fear Your name.” (Psalm 86)

I used to think that was strange because you need a plurality to be able to unite. You can’t unite one thing.

Then I realized how broken and scattered by sin my heart is – how often it is running off to worship other things and to seek honor and satisfaction in places other than at the throne of the Father – how often it’s splintered and divided between the things of the flesh and the things of the Spirit.

Now I realize my heart is also broken and scattered by separation, pieces left behind in every place I’ve lived and loved.

And yet – it’s also perfectly whole. “For great is [His] steadfast love toward me” and “I will glorify [His] name forever.” In the love of the Father, my heart is more whole and more full than it’s ever been before.

And someday even the tearing of separation will be perfectly mended as “all the nations You have made shall come and worship before You, O Lord, and shall glorify Your name.” And all the pieces of God’s sacrificial heart will be perfectly united in eternal unity and unending praise.

Amen and so be it.”

Dear Fellow Parent

Posted on by mcnadmin


Dear Fellow Parent,

Maybe your son or daughter has been talking with you about a desire to serve with Mission of Christ Network in some overseas position. Right now, you may be thinking, “I’m not sure about that.” Your mind might be swirling with thoughts such as – 

“They spent all that money on college for this?”

“If they decide to come back after a few years, what kind of job will they be able to get?”

“Is this really safe?” 

“It seems wrong to have to fundraise for your living!” 

These are legitimate questions, and you are not wrong for asking them! As parents we feel God has given us the opportunity and the responsibility to guide our children. We have prayed for them and supported them, and for the most part we know them really well. We see their strengths and weaknesses, and we know their temperament and their heart. Given all this, it makes sense that we want to talk with our children about their decisions, especially one that is as big as moving to another country. 

My husband and I have three children and two of them have served, and are serving, with Mission of Christ Network. Our daughter was in Asia for five and a half years, and our son is in his sixth year in Costa Rica. We have always been a family that supported missions and taught our children to pray for missionaries. We read stories about missionaries and we also talked about how we are ALL missionaries as God calls each Christian to tell others about Him. (See Greg Finke’s book Joining Jesus on His Mission.) Yet when each of our children made it clear that they felt called to another country to do mission work, we had some of the same questions I listed above. Additionally, we wondered things such as “how will you meet someone to marry someday?” and if you do “how will you support a family on funds you have to raise?” 

We have said goodbye (for nine or ten months at a time) to our children heading overseas a total of twelve times now. And as hard as it is – for many reasons – to have your child(ren) living in another country, there are SO many more positive reasons to rejoice in it. I would like to humbly share what my husband and I have experienced and invite you to pray about how God would have you respond to your children’s desire and call on their heart. 

As parents we have learned many things from having our children in missions, and we have been privy to the many ways mission service has changed, grown, and benefited our children. Initially, I do want to say that none of this is really about us or our children. It is about our amazing God who calls, equips, and strengthens His servants. I think we can all agree that as Christian parents, our deepest desire is that our children would remain in their faith in Christ Jesus for their lifetime. Since we know that the Holy Spirit worked faith in their hearts and Jesus has their names engraved upon His palm (Isaiah 49:16), we can trust that Christ will watch over our children and never leave them no matter where they live and serve (Psalm 139:9-10). No matter the safety issues of the country God calls them to, He has our children in the palm of His hand. 

A great blessing of having missionary children is that God opens their eyes and our eyes, as their parents, to what He is doing around the world. My husband and I knew next to nothing about the Church in Asia (I will use church with a capital C meaning not one particular denomination but God’s whole church in all of its global diversity). Suddenly your heart and mind are opened to a much broader view of what God is doing. You learn about other cultures and other parts of the world, and you get to hear about how God is already at work in these places. You have a front row seat to those “God stories” of provision, protection, and faith worked in the hearts of people who were not believers. As parents you also get the opportunity to travel and visit these places and meet the people your children have been serving. I can attest to this being a life-changing experience. 

Your children learn how to depend completely on the Lord as they navigate living in a new culture, depending on God’s provision for their needs, and trusting Him to work faith in the people they serve and live with. This place of dependence on Christ is what God wants for all of us, and it will be a wonderful gift for your child’s whole life (Proverbs 3:5-6; Psalm 121:1-2; John 15:5; Matthew 6:34). Serving as a missionary prepares your child to be a lifelong servant in Christ’s church. Even when they feel called to live in the United States again, they will always see how God is working to call all to salvation (1 Timothy 2:4). They will be able to share their love of missions with their local congregation, which will influence others to be aware of each Christian’s call to live for Christ. 

Skills such as traveling globally, becoming fluent in another language, and being able to explain Scripture and God’s plan of salvation to people who do not yet believe will serve your children for the rest of their lives. What job will they get when they come back? Or who will they marry? These answers are not written down anywhere, but God knows and He DOES provide, often in ways we never expected. 

God may be calling your child to serve with Him in a faraway place, but He may also be calling you to step out in faith and trust Him with your child. Please pray that God will help you to respond in faith. Romans 10:14-15 tells us that people need to hear about Christ, and that the feet of those who share the Gospel are beautiful! You can be a part of this sharing by giving your child your blessing to go forth and share. Your support and your PRAYERS will help God’s Word to go forth, and we know this never returns void (Isaiah 55:11). 

In Jesus,

    Ruth Barz