Do I go or do I stay? Do I use my gifts here or there? Is this decision selfish or not selfish? Is this what God is really calling me to do or does He have something else for me? On and on the questions go.
As someone who has lived the process of discerning to serve overseas twice now, I get it. The space between the gentle pull of God’s call to go and the loud push of doubt. For me, these competing opposites looked like: A secure paycheck vs. fundraising. Achieving my own success metrics vs. total dependence on God, the only one who can create faith. A clear boundary between work life and personal life vs. it’s all missions.
Push and pull. Push and pull. You probably know that space of tension well and can insert your own pushes and pulls that toss you back and forth.
How do we overcome the inertia that pushes us away from saying yes to God’s invitation to GO? We need not look any further than God’s powerful Word and prayer. God meets us in His Word. We find in Scripture the Good Shepherd’s voice, a voice His sheep know, leading us.
As I wrestled against the loud voice of doubt in my own discernment process, God’s gentle voice found me. It wasn’t a neon sign pointing the way or a laid out map (which I so desired); it was in His Word. His Word that as it goes out, does not return empty. His Word that not only speaks into the details of our lives, but in the lives of those we share it with as well.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. – Psalm 3:5-6
This was the verse that quieted my anxious heart, drowned out the doubts and led me to where God now has me. It was the verse that prompted me to ask, ‘What is my own understanding about this decision and is that true in light of who God is?’ I pray these words will be a trusty companion to you on your journey as they were for me.
Following God often doesn’t lead us where we thought we’d be . . . He leads us somewhere better.
May God grant you peace and clarity as He gently leads you to what He has prepared for you and may these Discernment Resources – full of Scripture, prayers, and questions to ponder – be a blessing to you as you spend time with your Heavenly Father.
